Happiness is not an object
Many people believe that happiness is having fun at a party, the excitement of new experiences, the thrill and passion of sex, or the delights of a fine meal.
These are all wonderful experiences to be cherished and cultivated but they are not happiness.
These experiences are the definition of pleasure.
Pleasure is fleeting and must be if it is to continue to please us because if we have these joyful experiences all the time, our brains adapt and turn pleasure into routine.
Once that happens, it takes even more to make us feel good again. Chasing pleasure is not happiness.
So, what is happiness?
„Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” ( Aristotel )
Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.
Happiness comes when you feel contented and fulfilled.
How happy can we be, depends on how we choose to act and think.
Happiness is a choice.
We are as happy as we want to be. The irony of the fact is that we do not know the simple procedure.
We postpone our happiness to conditions like “I will be happy when…..”.
All of us, for whom happiness is conditional to external circumstances, are doing nothing but postponing our happiness.
The only difference between a happy person and an unhappy person is that a happy person is happy for what he is and an unhappy person is unhappy for what he wants to be.
The illusion of happiness is that once everything I have what I want, I will be happy. The reality is that once I am happy, I will have everything.
Its up to you to define happiness.
Let us close our eyes, take three deep breaths. Let us ask ourselves on which part of the circle do we dwell on? What we want or what we don’t want?
Lets only focus.
Lets live only on that part what we want.
Let us feel that we can add our experiences, our knowledge, feelings, country wisdom and anything that we know.
Let us ask to the world for anything that we want to know about happiness.
I think people are doing some big mistakes when they are looking for feel and live the happiness:
Most people seek happiness.
They perceive happiness as an object that they can obtain. They think that if they earn just enough money, or have just enough of some thing, then they’ll be happy. Whether it’s a new pair of shoes or the newest technological device, once obtained, their happiness fades.
Some people pursue success.
They’ve equated recognition, achievement, and financial security with happiness. They imagine that once they reach a certain point in their career they’ll feel a deep sense of happiness. After earning their job promotion, their happiness quickly fades until they find something else to chase.
Others chase relationships.
They enter relationship after relationship looking for happiness. They hope that the person they find can replace their emptiness with satisfaction. While being in love brings bliss, this feeling is temporary. After a few months, their lives return to the same bland flavor as before.
The problem is: happiness is not an object.
People wrongly assume that their happiness is due to external circumstances.
Through social conditioning, we have been taught that happiness is experienced during a state of pleasure.
When our parents surprised us with an ice cream cone, we felt happy.
Now we spend the rest of our lives looking for treats, only to find that they don’t taste good.
Happiness isn’t the ice cream cone.
Happiness is:
1. Not an object. Capitalist consumerism wants you to believe that an object will bring you happiness. The whole world sells you this lie so that you will continue consuming products and making elites wealthy. No matter what material item you obtain, it will never bring you lasting happiness. Seeking happiness in this way creates a sense of lack consciousness. You end up feeling a longing that cannot be satisfied.
2. Not separate from yourself. Projection is a psychological term to describe when emotions are experienced as coming from someone else rather than yourself. Through our cultural conditioning, we learn to project happiness onto separate objects like people and products. Happiness is part of you, not something separate. This is why people can be laying on their deathbed with no friends, family, or material belongings and still experience happiness—it is part of themselves.
3. Always available. Happiness is available to you in each moment. When you stop seeking and start living, happiness emerges from the present. No matter what’s happening around you, no matter what objects you obtain or lose, happiness is always available. All things arise and fall—there’s both night and day, life and death. All of these dualities disappear when you learn to identify with the circle rather than yin or the yang. Happiness is an awareness and felt-experience of the circle rather than its parts.
4. A state of being. When you are lost in the present moment, happiness is there. When you look back into the past and experience a happy memory, you are actually recreating and re-experiencing that moment in the present. Happiness is something that only exists in the present. You find this truth when you stop seeking and start being.
Happiness is the state of being in the present moment that is always available.
Happiness isn’t the ice cream cone, it’s the joy, love, and bliss of sharing the moment with your parents.
While you may have learned to associate happiness with the sweet treat, it was actually your full participation and absorption in the experience itself.
The experience of happiness you felt then is something you have access to now. You are that which you seek.
Lose yourself in the present moment and re-connect with the happiness that is always already available.
Choose to be yourself, dare to be happy in this life. You don’t have another.
Be Reprobable!
Dare and Don’t Care!
With love always,
R.
- Adina Banea
- 01 octombrie 2016
- Reprobable
